Monday, October 4, 2010


Photo by DarlingDilemma

I'm tired. I mean really, really tired.
Is it because, after a lovely summer of frolicking, beading, family & sunshine I have gone back to work? Maybe.
Or maybe it is because work consists of two jobs, plus mothering, wifeing & still trying to build my shop's stock for Christmas?
Or could it be because one job has me running the roads all over New Brunswick, while the other requires me to be back in town for after school?
It might be.

But I know myself well enough to know, that the maybes, possibilities and mights of all those things, will fade as I adjust to the new schedules and routines.  I know myself well enough to know that the greater reality is the season...
Strangely enough, although fall is my most favorite season, it is also the beginning of something difficult for me.  Fall is filled with some of my favorite things; pumpkin spice lattes, fall wardrobes, the best colours in nature, crisp air and Halloween! But fall is also the gateway to winter, shorter days & longer nights.  This seasonal change effects a lot of us similarly.  A sense of sadness, depression & just pure exhaustion fights its way into an otherwise normal demeanor.  My active summer self seems to have quickly left me.  I find my errands harder to do & naps suddenly feel mandatory (although hardly ever possible).  I can switch from enjoying a moment, to longing, sadness or even tears.  I admit, sometimes I watch 'Brothers & Sisters' just so I can cry and get it over with... lol

But fall does something else to me too.
Fall fills me with love. I sometimes think I can feel, like the Grinch, my heart grow two sizes in the fall. Like my chest expands to compensate for my growing capacity to love. 
I want to squeeze my son more, snuggle under a blanket.  I tell him I love him so much he laughs.

I want to hold my husband's hand more while we walk and stay in our warm bed longer and longer.

The sight of fallen leaves makes me feel the need to tell someone 'I love you so much'.

ROOM with a view
 So tell me, how does that make sense?