Monday, October 4, 2010


Photo by DarlingDilemma

I'm tired. I mean really, really tired.
Is it because, after a lovely summer of frolicking, beading, family & sunshine I have gone back to work? Maybe.
Or maybe it is because work consists of two jobs, plus mothering, wifeing & still trying to build my shop's stock for Christmas?
Or could it be because one job has me running the roads all over New Brunswick, while the other requires me to be back in town for after school?
It might be.

But I know myself well enough to know, that the maybes, possibilities and mights of all those things, will fade as I adjust to the new schedules and routines.  I know myself well enough to know that the greater reality is the season...
Strangely enough, although fall is my most favorite season, it is also the beginning of something difficult for me.  Fall is filled with some of my favorite things; pumpkin spice lattes, fall wardrobes, the best colours in nature, crisp air and Halloween! But fall is also the gateway to winter, shorter days & longer nights.  This seasonal change effects a lot of us similarly.  A sense of sadness, depression & just pure exhaustion fights its way into an otherwise normal demeanor.  My active summer self seems to have quickly left me.  I find my errands harder to do & naps suddenly feel mandatory (although hardly ever possible).  I can switch from enjoying a moment, to longing, sadness or even tears.  I admit, sometimes I watch 'Brothers & Sisters' just so I can cry and get it over with... lol

But fall does something else to me too.
Fall fills me with love. I sometimes think I can feel, like the Grinch, my heart grow two sizes in the fall. Like my chest expands to compensate for my growing capacity to love. 
I want to squeeze my son more, snuggle under a blanket.  I tell him I love him so much he laughs.

I want to hold my husband's hand more while we walk and stay in our warm bed longer and longer.

The sight of fallen leaves makes me feel the need to tell someone 'I love you so much'.

ROOM with a view
 So tell me, how does that make sense?


  1. Fall reminds us that life is so beautiful-a crescendo right before everything falls and becomes very cold and still-and then it is the bitter chill of winter... Fall reminds us that nothing is permanent and every moment is worthy of cherishing. I've been really tired too. I've heard there are major energy shifts happening in the atmosphere effecting people who are receptive to them. It sounds to me like you might be one of those open-hearted consciousness types, if you believe in that sort of thing :)

    I've been trying to get plenty of rest and I've already started taking vitamin D supplement to stave off the winter blues! Sometimes they hit me pretty hard as well.

  2. They get me everytime, but some harder than others. I find it hard this year to be away from my family and friends since the move to the east coast.
    I've started taking B12 & iron and just picked up some St.Johns Wort as my mother swears by it!